- Connor: I wonder where my rice went
- Me: ...
- Connor: ...
- Me: Was your rice in a bowl?
- Connor: Yes
- Me: Was it on the counter?
- Connor: Yes
- Me: Was it near enough kai's food that someone MIGHT have mistaken it for Kai's food and accidentally eaten it?
- Connor: Yes
- Me: *eating the rice* ... I found your rice. Sorry.
I have made three people cry today.
For anyone who missed it. I have been reunited with my son and I have never felt more heart- full.#i am so psyched!
Right after Diddy was born, I was in the car listening to NPR and I heard a child safety educator say, “Stop telling your kids not to talk to strangers. They might need to talk to a stranger one day. Instead, teach them which sorts of strangers are safe. You know who’s safe? A mom with kids. Period. Your kid gets separated from you at the mall? Tell her to flag down the first mom with kids she sees.”
This was fantastic advice. I have shared it with everyone who will listen, ever since.
Last month, I finally got to meet the woman who’d said this brilliant thing, when I had the enormous good fortune of attending a kid’s safety seminar led by Pattie Fitzgerald of Safely Ever After. Safely Ever After offers seminars to adults and children on the subject of “keeping kids safe from child molesters and abuse.”
I didn’t seek Pattie out. I don’t spend every moment of the day worrying that my kids are going to end up in white slavery. But Diddy and Gaga’s preschool offers the material to parents of pre-K students as a preamble to teaching it to the pre-K kids, and Diddy’s a pre-K kid, so I went to hear what Pattie had to say. (And in light of all the Miramonte Elementary madness, I am thrilled I did.)
If it makes you uncomfortable to think about offering this sort of material to a 5 year-old, let me reassure you by saying our school offers an opt-out. But after spending a morning listening to Pattie’s presentation, I can honestly say I would have let her go teach my 3 year-old about “tricky people.” If the boys could understand it, I’d have her come over and talk to them, too.
And they’d like it. Really. I did. Sitting around listening to all the horrible things that could happen to your kids might not sound like a good time — but oddly enough, with Pattie Fitzgerald, it is.
For one thing, Pattie knows her stuff, and I felt confident that her information was accurate and her advice studied and strong. For another, she’s pretty funny — so the material she presented never felt horribly gloom-and-doomy so much as matter-of-fact and manageable.
- It is unlikely your kid is going to be abused by a weirdo at the park (huge sigh of relief).
- That said, if there is a weirdo at the park, he’s not going to fit the “stranger” model — so stop teaching your kid about strangers! He’s going to come up to your kid and introduce himself. Voila! He ain’t a stranger anymore.
- Teach your kids about TRICKY PEOPLE, instead. TRICKY PEOPLE are grown-ups who ASK KIDS FOR HELP (no adult needs to ask a kid for help) or TELLS KIDS TO KEEP A SECRET FROM THEIR PARENTS (including, IT’S OKAY TO COME OVER HERE BEHIND THIS TREE WITHOUT ASKING MOM FIRST. Not asking Mom is tantamount to KEEPING A SECRET.)
- Teach your kids not to DO ANYTHING, or GO ANYWHERE, with ANY ADULTS AT ALL, unless they can ask for your permission first.
See how I said ANY ADULTS AT ALL? That’s because:
- It’s far more likely your kid is going to be abused by someone they have a relationship with, because most cases of abuse follow long periods of grooming — both of the kid and his or her family.
- Bad guys groom you and your kids to gauge whether or not you’re paying attention to what they’re doing, and/or to lure you into dropping your guard. Don’t. Kids who bad guys think are flying under their parents’ radars, or kids who seem a little insecure or disconnected from their parents, are the kids who are most at risk.
- Be suspicious of gifts that adults in positions of authority give your kids. There’s no reason your son should be coming back from Bar Mitzvah study with a cool new keychain or baseball hat.
- Be suspicious of teachers who tell you your kid is so special they want to offer him more one-on-one time, or special outings. That teacher who says your kid is into Monet, he wants to take him to a museum next weekend? Say thanks, and take your kid to go see the exhibit yourself.
- You know that weird adult cousin of yours who’s always out in the yard with the kids, never in the kitchen drinking with the grown-ups? Keep an eye on your kids when he’s around.
- Oh, and that soccer coach who keeps offering to babysit for free, so you can get some time to yourself? NO ONE WANTS TO BABYSIT YOUR KIDS JUST TO BE NICE.
And, here’s another good reason to add to the PANTHEON of reasons to teach your children the anatomically correct names for their genitalia:
- There isn’t a child molester on earth who’s going to talk to your daughter about her vagina. Really. But if she suddenly starts calling it a cupcake, you can ask her who taught her that.
Ultimately, after spending an hour with Pattie, I felt LESS worried, not more. That, to me, is the number one sign of a good book or seminar about parenting — it doesn’t stress you out.
And you know why Pattie Fitzgerald and Safely Ever After won’t stress you out?
BECAUSE SHE’S CHOCKFUL OF CHECKLISTS!
Reblogging this because it’s been a while since I last read it.
Such great advice
My due date was January 30, 2014, but my baby was born on January 30, 2014 😍❤️
Any Mommy’s wanna participate?
My due date was February 22, 2013, But my daughter was born February 20, 2013.
my due date was July 3rd, 2014, but my daughter was born June 13th, 2014
Due May 9th
Born April 28th
Marissas due date: 12th December 2006 Born: 1st December 2006
Annabella’s due date: 14th May 2014 Born: 11th May 2014
My due date was August 26th, but I went into labor August 19th.
My due date was March 14, 2013, but my son was born February 26, 2013 :)
My due date was March 3rd. He was born February 14th.
I was due May 10th 2013, and delivered 5:42sm May 11th 2013.
- Don’t think of it as pain. Think of it as an interesting sensation that requires all of your attention. ~Ina Mae Gaskin, Spiritual Midwifery
- I am a strong and capable woman. I trust my instincts to know what I need for my labor.
- I surrender with confidence.
- The strength of my uterine contractions is a sign of my feminine strength.
- I have grown this baby; I will push her out.
- The power and intensity of my contractions cannot be stronger than me, because it is me.
- My job is to simply relax and allow the birth to happen.
- My body has a wide open space for my baby to descend.
- My body is indeed beautifully and wonderfully made
- A woman’s birth is her chance to hold hands with God.
- 300,000 women will be giving birth with you today. Relax and breathe and do nothing else. Labor is hard work and you can do it.
- The experience of labor and birth is a great gift.
- I will breathe slowly and deeply to relax my muscles and bring oxygen to our baby.
- This is what my body was designed to do.
- Relax, breathe, open.
- My body is opening wide to let my baby out.
- My body is not broken. I can do this.
- Soon I will meet you, baby.
- I am a strong, beautiful woman. I accept myself completely, here and now.
- I am completely relaxed and comfortable.
- I am doing this exactly right and exactly as nature intended.
- My body knows what to do. I will surrender fully and completely.
- Ride the wave [of the contraction].
- I trust my body to birth my baby.
- I trust that my body knows exactly what it’s doing.
- I am excited to give birth to my baby.
- I trust in my ability to birth my baby.
- During labor and birth, I am completely relaxed.
- I am deserving of a easy, uncomplicated birth.
- I visualize my baby moving gently through the birth canal.
- I visualize an easy, peaceful, joyous and pleasurable birth.
- My baby is happy and healthy.
- I am completely cooperating with my body.
- My courage and patience will send my baby into my arms.
- My body is made to give birth, nice and easy.
- I believe my baby’s birth will come quickly and easily.
- My body is completely relaxed.
- My baby is born with pure pleasure.
- I have courage, faith and patience.
- I am in complete control of what is going on around me.
- My body will give birth on it’s own time.
- I give birth in safety and solitude.
- I do not fight the birth in any way. My body is relaxed.
- Surges are easy and relax.
- I follow my instincts and give birth in the way I desire.
- I am ready and prepared for my birthing experience.
- My job is to simply relax and allow my birth to happen.
- I visualize myself handling everything beautifully.
- Everything is going right.
- I feel the strong waves of labour and know that everything is normal and progressing.
- I relax my mind and muscles.
- My body knows how to have this baby just as my body knew how to grow this baby.
- Keep breathing slow and even. Inhale peace, exhale tension.
- Keep my mind on acceptance and surrender.
- I surrender my birthing over to my baby and my body.
- My body has a wide-open space for my baby to descend.
- My body will give birth in its own time.
- I love my baby and I am doing all that is necessary to bring about a healthy birth.
- Birth is an easy and natural occurrence for which my body has been perfectly designed.
- I am ready and prepared for childbirth.
- My job is to simply relax and allow the birth to happen.
- Just let my body do it; let it happen.
- I see myself handling everything beautifully.
- Each contraction produces a healthy, positive pain that I can handle.
- Birth will go exactly as it should.
- I deserve this wonderful birth!
I’m printing these affirmations off to read and recite to myself during labor. Just reading them now makes me even more confident. I’m so excited to keep working on my hypno-birthing techniques and getting to my final goal!
Needed this right now!